Then & Now
by White.Demon.Feathers
Summary: Just a little something-something that I wanted to share. A bit of a dark spin on this lovely "kid's show." ENJOY! (T for Language)
1. Chapter 1

**Hello all! So sorry it has been…TOO LONG since I have posted ANYTHING. And now I've posted something that has absolutely NOTHING to do with any of my other stories.  
This little thing here starts and ends with what you see. I don't really have time to commit to a story – especially since I have a few that need some tender love right now anyway. That said, enjoy this creative project of mine! **

Six years. She had been doing this for six years.

It had been fun, at first. Beat the bad guy, save the day, play the hero. It had been new and exciting. She had a new friend, her little Kwami, Tikki, and she was wonderful, insightful, and the moral compass when she desperately needed it.

There was strain, of course, living two lives. That first year had been the worst as she had tried so hard to keep the two separated as best she could, and at the first sign of one bleeding into other she would freak out as if the world itself was about to end. Yeah, she learned to handle both lives, eventually. The silly, klutzy girl and the brave and confident superhero, living as one and yet not complete.

In retrospect, that first year had been easy. The villains had been simple enough to handle, their problems small in the grand scheme of things. And there was usually one at a time, hardly worth a sweat.

And if things ever felt like they were too much for her to handle, well… that was what Chat Noir was for.

Her partner. Her best friend in the world, eventually. A man she still had never seen his face without the mask.

That was the way of it.

She didn't need to know what his day job was to trust him. He was her partner, always would be. Always was, she'd come to learn, six years later.

The second year, at the ripe age of sixteen and a sophomore in high school, she had come to better terms with two lives, with Chat Noir, and with the greater intricacy of her villains. That second year hadn't just been trying to find and destroy Hawk Moth. Illusive and impossible the man was, but the worst was the five villains that had taken up the mantle of the villainous group the Royal Flush Hand. They used playing cards like it was going out of style and five again two was _not fair_ , not at all. It had taken nearly the whole school year for Ladybug and Chat Noir to defeat the bad guys, slowly taking each member down and finally purifying their Akumas. Eight grueling months, but eventually and together they had limited themselves to just Hawk Moth once again.

And then summer had come, and she and Chat Noir had stuck close the whole time. There was a moment, after a terrible battle when she had almost disappeared as the Akuma had tried to delete her existence from history – a librarian with a hard spot for inaccuracies had decided she was worthy of rewriting history. Chat had to do the saving that day. And had avoided her for nearly a week until one day he was back as if nothing had changed between them.

If he were more affectionate than before, touching her more often, in small and insignificant ways, she wasn't going to point it out. She knew he cared and the thought of her never existing had most likely scared him. They were partners, friends. So she let him touch her shoulder as they discussed their game plan, let him stroke her hand with his thumb when she handed his weapon back, let him bump his shoulder against hers when he wanted to cheer her up. She let him in, closer and closer. She trusted him, cared for him just as much as he cared for her.

They were a team, one never without the other.

She should not have waited so long to share the teacher with him.

During her last year in high school, she had taken Chat to the teacher. He had been helping her decipher the strange book she had stolen from Adrien so long ago, and because she wasn't entirely sure how to explain it all she had kept the two separated. But it wasn't necessary, he was her partner.

However, she underestimated how upset Chat had been. Being left out – _left behind_ , he had called it. She had to make it up to him. Three months later, she got her chance. She took the brunt of an attack from an Akuma intended for Chat. Their movements had been out of sync since her betrayal, as he called it, and in one foolish move Chat had left himself vulnerable. And Ladybug had jumped in without a second thought. There had been blood. The only chance she had in purifying the evil butterfly had been with Chat holding her in his arms as he threw her yo-yo, caught the Akuma, and let it go as she spoke the magic words.

And he had forgiven her without hesitation after that. And if he had started touching her more, holding her close in battle, taking the worst of the blows because _he could take it_ while she worked out a plan, well, neither talked about it.

Hawk Moth was never closer in their grasps until her high school graduation day. He had his minions possess six people – her middle school teacher, a child, a janitor, a business woman, a fellow student, and once again Volpina had made another appearance after staying silent for nearly four years.

Each victim, excluding Volpina, had been left behind by someone: a failing marriage, left alone at home while the parents went to work, a dog that had passed away, left behind by a co-worker moving up in the business world, and not making the marks to graduate with everyone else. And the six had tried to leave Paris alone without Ladybug and Chat Noir.

They had managed to exercise the victims, but it had taken days as they kept needing to recharge after each one had been saved. And eventually Volpina had led the heroes to Hawk Moth's lair – one of his many she soon found out.

The battle had been awful. Volpina's illusions and Hawk Moth's lies were almost too much for them. He had the unnatural ability to see through their hearts, find their darkest weaknesses, and exploit them with the most pain inflicted imaginable.

She thought she had lost Chat that day, her teammate, her partner, her friend. He had let himself be possessed so he could get close to Hawk Moth, managing to keep the man away from his darkest and most private thoughts. _Chat Blanc,_ the white cat. And when the most opportune moment had come, he turned on the villains and helped Ladybug take down Volpina and almost had taken Hawk Moth, too.

But he was crueler than they both realized.

He _hurt_ Chat, with the evil butterfly inside him. He had fed her friend images of Ladybug turning on him, leaving him behind, no longer needing him. And the monster had _relished_ in the man's despair.

So he had given Ladybug an ultimatum: save Chat Noir and let him go.

It wasn't even worth a second to think about. She had let the monster go, to terrorize and hurt more people. She had to live with that decision every day, but she wouldn't have ever changed the past.

She needed Chat just as much as he needed her.

After graduating high school, with her one life in darkness – touched by the cruelness of her reality in a way she had never known before – Ladybug had tried to salvage her other life, untouched by life's pain. She had grown so close to Adrien, getting over her nerves as the novelty of the average girl's life started to drift farther and farther away. Her projects in school managed a mighty fine resume for her to attend a local college for fashion. It wasn't prestigious by any means, but it was a start and the university offered to pay for almost all it.

Together she and Adrien worked on her dream of becoming a fashion designer; with his insider knowledge to the modeling world he was a great help. After the summer of their junior year, Adrien had started hanging out with Marinette more and more on his own terms. He had asked for her to be his partner more often than not, and it probably helped her nerves knowing _he_ wanted to spend time with _her_. Even though they didn't have many of the same classes in their senior year, he always seemed to make time for her – and she was more than grateful.

He had a change in career choice during his sophomore year, choosing to become a detective and no longer a model, but he confessed his dream to her one night while they stayed up too late on the phone during their senior year.

His dream had inspired her, and when he was too afraid of his father to tell him about it, Marinette had taken it upon herself to defend her friend, her first love. It had been a complete disaster as she exploded at the dinner table at the sixth time Adrien had asked her over. His father, who rarely joined them, had said some off-handed, thoughtless comment about controlling his "wild son" and Marinette could not hold herself back. The words she had said that night…she had regretted most of them, but not for defending Adrien and his dream.

Two weeks later he had told her his father and he had sat down and actually talked about his future. He was starting criminology dual-credit classes within the month.

And if he started getting closer to Marinette, touching her more often like they were life-long friends, spending more time together for seemingly no other reason than to see how her day was going or to grab a bite to eat, then she was by no means complaining. In fact, she was the happiest she had ever been in those next months.

After graduating, he was also attending a local college, which she could not understand when he had the money for the big, oversea universities, but he said he was taking online classes as well and even though he wasn't serious about modeling, he still did the odd job here and there when his father asked it of him.

After the horror of almost defeating Hawk Moth, Marinette had tried to pull away from Adrien. She had wanted to close the world off and never let a single soul touch her. Her actions let Hawk Moth hurt many more people and she hated herself for it. Not for choosing Chat Noir, because there wasn't any choice in the matter – he would always win – but for not thinking of a solution where everyone could have benefitted.

Adrien wouldn't let her despair. With surprising skill, he climbed to her window above the bakery, as her parents let her stay with them as she attended college. While she wept he held her close. He never asked, never brought it up again except for once and only told her that if she ever wished to hide away from the world, she should run to him first. And he promised he would hold her until the feeling passed, no matter how long it took.

He had held her, had stroked her hair and back, had comforted her like a child, chasing away the nightmares, and he had stayed with her after her tears had exhausted her to sleep, and when she woke in the middle of the night he was still there to kiss her forehead and quiet her fears.

There were never going to be enough words for her to express how profoundly thankful she was for his silent comfort. And her love for the man deepened to an ocean, beyond any high school crush, beyond words or cards or gestures. She loved him. Would always love him.

Within the next two years the villains kept coming and Ladybug and Chat Noir were there to stop them. But as the duo matured and grew from their fifteen-year-old originals into adulthood, the Akumas also matured. A woman who had been beaten by her husband had tried to destroy _all_ the men in Paris, and would have continued on to the world if they hadn't stopped her. A young boy bullied at school had tried to kill his oppressors, mere children, and would have succeeded too if they hadn't stopped him. A homeless man tired of being ignored started to steal and turned terribly violent when it didn't satisfy the void the Akuma had filled, and they had stopped him.

Ladybug let her innocence go with each and every terrible story of each victim like white butterflies. And her sorrow and pain grew to a knife's edge that left her almost bitter. Chat's jokes had stopped and he too suffered from the way the world treated its lambs. He still tried to make Ladybug smile, still called her his "Lady" and still flirted with her. The puns became a rare treat and only then did Ladybug realize how much she missed them.

It is here where we find our heroes, inside the teacher's house as he waits for them, as he always does, because the bonding with the Kwami has grown strong enough that the dreams are starting and they need answers he can give. And he knows that Marinette may not like all the answers she seeks.


	2. Chapter 2

Six years and he's not nearly done with this.

Six years of flying through the dark nights, jumping rooftops, beating up villains, stopping bad guys, saving the day, being the hero, and _not_ being plain, boring Adrien Aguste. Six years of training, fighting, and kicking ass. Six years of being by his Lady's side. Six years…Six _years_.

He had thought the Kwami a blessing, to being someone _better_ than himself. Someone stronger, someone faster, someone smoother and… _better_. Ladybug had been the icing on the cake. Perfect, kind, amazing, skilled…flexible…the take-charge kind of woman he always dreamed of. He loved her. Would always love her. He jumped through more hoops for her than any other woman, and he wouldn't give a damn what happened to himself, or anyone else for that matter, so long as she kept smiling, kept rolling her eyes at his puns and smirking at his flirtatious behavior.

They were a team, and he trusted her completely, without fault. She said jump and he would. In battles she took the lead and he didn't mind one lick.

In fact, it was for the best she was the one with the quick mind while he supplied the muscle. He took the beatings with almost _pleasure_ in that second year of crime fighting. He didn't mind getting hit, if it were one less hit for his Lady. And his body grew strong from the hand-to-hand combat; his mind grew strong from the force of the pain and pushing past it to keep his Lady safe.

The Royal Flush Hand were a joke, a bad one, but when he and his Lady were left standing he knew there wasn't a villain alive that could tear them apart. Even if it had taken months of fighting them, _while_ fighting the average punk Akuma every now and again.

It was the mystery of Ladybug that made him wish to be a detective. She believed in their secret identities, but here he did not share the same ideas. He thought if he could figure it out without waiting for her to transform, without sneaking and tricking, then perhaps she would accept him when he revealed himself to her. Because that was Adrien's goal, one day. For now, it was enough to fight alongside her, but he knew, deep down that it wouldn't always be so.

He kept his desires a secret, however. Adrien Aguste? A detective? The idea was laughable at best, and because he was just Adrien he was not brave enough to withstand the disappointment of his father. He vowed that one day he would stand up to him, but not when he was just a child in his father's eyes and so inexperienced with the world. For now he was content.

It all went to shit when that librarian had almost destroyed her. At sixteen, moody and angsty, he had nearly killed the woman for drawing his Lady's blood. He had saved her, at a great cost – one he could never talk about. He had gone through time, just as The Historian had, where she rewrote history to fit her fantasy. And he hadn't meant to do it but it had been the only way to save her.

He learned who Ladybug really was. Shy, kind, little Marinette. And when he saved her, he held her too close as they had purified the Akuma together. The librarian was left dazed and confused and without a single memory to who Ladybug was, and most importantly unharmed. Because if Chat had his way, she would very much be dead. One touch from _cataclysm_. But his Lady would not have wanted that.

And that darkness inside him had scared him. He knew that if Ladybug were to ever leave him, he would not survive. And instead of questioning his feelings, he accepted them as truth – although it had taken a full week before he could face Ladybug again. He needed her, so much more than she needed him, and that was alright. As his feelings bleed through the cage he thought he shoved them in he realized she understood enough to let him comfort himself in whatever way she could provide. Whether it was letting him hold her a little longer than was necessary or if it was the way she stopped pulling away every time he kissed her hand, it didn't matter because it did help him – it was enough for now.

And to comfort himself further, he accepted Ladybug's secret identify and began taking comfort in Marinette's presence as well. She was a kind creature, Marinette, clumsy and slightly ditsy, but her heart was pure when it mattered and she cared about her friends almost _fiercely_.

When he learned she had been keeping the book and the teacher a secret, he had been furious. More enraged than he had ever been with his Lady before. And her words were no comfort to him this time. He felt the betrayal that she didn't need him settle deep in his soul and it had left him cold. She had stolen his father's book, though she did not know it, and had been working with the old man for almost three years without him. And even though he showed up to the old man's house to discuss the Kwami and the Akumas and the other heroes in the book, he did not forgive his lady right away.

That hurt him, to be so angry. It wasn't right, damn unnatural, really. He needed to be with her, fight with her, touch her and hold her – and he compensated by sticking close to Marinette, who could be innocent if he did not know she was his Lady. But it hurt less when he allowed himself to be with Marinette and avoid Ladybug. It was probably the only reason why he did not cave and forgive her readily enough.

It was his foolish anger that drove her to take a hit that had been meant for him. He had screwed up and left himself open to Hawk Moth's attack.

After purifying the five victims on his high school graduation, following Volpina (his idea to which Ladybug had praised him and to which he had ignored even if it lightened the burden on his chest), and finding Hawk Moth's lair, not the only lair of his which was definitely cheating. It hadn't helped that Chat had identified with the victims, as he felt betrayed by Ladybug, leaving him behind for three years. And it had gotten worse when he watched Volpina take his Lady down hard.

That darkness, the same pit of black hatred from before called to the Akuma before Hawk Moth really understood what was happening. And he let the power of the evil butterfly engulf him, because for his Lady he would do _anything_ to protect her.

Chat Blanc…he was without limits when he let the darkness take him, his own darkness, his own hatred. Nothing conjured by Hawk Moth's silver words. No manipulation necessary to drop his rules. He got close to the darkness and smiled when all he saw was himself. And because _he_ had created the Akuma, not Hawk Moth, the man couldn't read his mind or see his thoughts. And when his Lady burst through the glass window it was such a savoring sight to see the fox and the madman gape as he took to her side as he always did, always would.

Volpina was hardly worth his time and she went down quickly. He had nearly killed her. But his Lady wouldn't have liked it and so he had smashed her necklace and stole the pendant so that the little liar could never touch his Lady again.

He thought he had outsmarted the monster. Thought he could play by _its_ rules and win.

He was wrong.

Even though Hawk Moth hadn't sent out the Akuma, it was still of his creation and like the villain he was, he pulled out his wild card and seared Chat's mind with every fear he ever possessed. The images conjured by the master liar were real enough to him. Images he had created without Hawk Moth's help, only brighter, clearer, more real than any nightmare he ever knew before. Ladybug leaving him, sneering down at him, laughing at him. The sounds and sights echoed and flashed unrelenting and it had _hurt_. His heart felt like it was being torn right out of his chest and he didn't even realize he was writhing on the floor in unimaginable _agony_.

It wasn't until after the dust had settled, after the flash of pink light from her Miracle Healing that he even realized what had happened.

She chose _Chat_ over Hawk Moth. He let Ladybug choose. And she had chosen to save her partner over capturing the monster.

He would _never_ hate her for that choice. He would have done the very same thing.

He forgave her of everything and vowed never to turn from her side again. Even though the fear of her leaving him would always linger in the back of his mind, Chat made his own choice that night, too. He loved her, his Lady, as the hero and as the woman. And he would have both.

So he kept Marinette close, helping her with her dreams of fashion, giving her every bit of knowledge and upper hand he could offer her, choosing her as his partner for class projects, inviting her to hang out after school, playing video games or going out for ice cream. With Hawk Moth quiet for the next couple of months he could work on having both Ladybug and Marinette. It was easy, so terribly easy, to trust the woman as much as the hero.

With the ferocity he had witness before of her protective nature of her friends, Adrien watched her display that same intensity for him when she attacked his father for trying to control Adrien's life. Her words cut his father deep; truth staining the man as she ruthlessly defended her friend without a second thought to the consequences of upsetting a man like his father. But she wasn't wrong.

And even though at first his father had forbade Adrien from ever seeing Marinette, when he had told his father _no_ for the first time in his life they finally got to talk about the real problem. Even if it took two weeks for them to get around to it.

He didn't want his son hurt. After his mother disappeared his father's love for his son had turned oppressive because he had no other means of keeping him close. And Adrien understood the man, but he had not backed down. Eventually they settle on a compromise.

Adrien would stay close to home, in Paris, and do the odd modeling job here and there whenever his father asked it of him, and in return Adrien could pursue his dream.

And it was all thanks to Marinette.

So they graduated high school and were starting their way toward their dreams while continuing to save Paris and he worked alongside his Lady. It wasn't long until his affections towards Ladybug bleed into his relationship with Marinette. He wanted both in his life and did not take any alternative as answer. He called her, texted, and meet up with her when their schedules allowed it, and he made sure it was at least twice a week when he saw her as Marinette because he did see her nearly four times a week as Ladybug.

He remembered sometime after almost defeating Hawk Moth that she had tried to pull away from her civilian life, and him. Her guilt was unfathomable to him, because there was no choice if _he_ had been against Hawk Moth. His Lady would always be saved, the world be damned if it had to. He would _never_ regret saving his Lady, no matter the consequences. But he knew Marinette was not like him.

So he refused to leave her be. He cornered her in her room, locked her door and window so she could not flee from him, and when her despair had nearly torn her apart, he held her close. He couldn't tell her he knew, what her shame was doing to her, because that would involve explaining that he knew she was Ladybug because he was Chat Noir and that he had known for so long and that he only kept it a secret because it was what she wanted.

No.

He held her because that was all he could do, and he prayed it was enough.

He felt it when her feelings had changed. Her affection for Adrien had been a small thing, something easily knocked down before, but that night when he held her close, had chased her nightmares away with a vengeance, he _felt_ when she began to feel the same as him. Love…pure Love.

But still he waited for her to come to him, for her to want him. For her to _need him_.

They became terribly dependent upon one another and Adrien didn't care. His innocence had died the day he found the darkness inside of him, when his hatred had nearly consumed him as he had gone back in time to save his Lady. And he mourned the loss of hers as the victims became more sorrowful and heart wrenching as they matured. Petty high school drama deformed into the ugliest mankind had to offer. And somehow he knew Hawk Moth was becoming more and more selective of his victims now.

He found that he became a solemn breed, the carefree humor of his youth a nearly forgotten memory that only served now to bring a fragile smile to his Lady's lips when he could catch her off guard with one of his silly cat puns. His relationship with Marinette had blossomed to fruition as they _finally_ started dating while his partnership with Ladybug became as second-nature as breathing. She did not yet _need_ him as he did her, but she sought him out not always the other way around, and he was beginning to feel that she was losing sight of why their identities had to be secret. He could sense her defenses weaken.

It is here where we find our heroes, inside the teacher's house as he waits for them, as he always does, because the bonding with the Kwami has grown strong enough that the dreams are starting and they need answers he can give. And the teacher knows Adrien will more likely than not find all that he didn't even know he was searching for.


End file.
